Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt — S01E04 — Kimmy Goes to the Doctor!

00:00:09 I can't believe what people just leave on the street.

00:01:26 Stop calling this "the future."

00:02:08 It's on Barbie stationery. It has pizza grease on it.

00:02:51 My what?

00:03:41 for another six weeks.

00:04:24 to keep your chin up.

00:05:30 This afternoon, six cast members were critically injured

00:06:17 Well, it was dark out,

00:07:05 hand me the next costume.

00:08:17 Nah, I'm good.

00:09:22 Really?

00:10:36 Plastic surgeons look at feet?

00:11:36 - Oh. - Look at that.

00:12:25 I can do that right now.

00:13:22 So there I am, standing in line for this cattle call,

00:14:07 Talented, dashing, transcending,

00:15:07 He prepared a monologue from an episode of Maury

00:15:53 Get your face everywhere...

00:17:10 Oh, that's good, then.

00:18:00 She's as strong as a horse,

00:19:19 But it wouldn't fix what's really wrong.

00:20:10 How did the auditions go?

00:20:59 for the same humiliating roles as I do,

00:23:13 Good night, everybody!