Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt — S01E03 — Kimmy Goes on a Date!

00:00:10 I had such a lovely time at the King's ball.

00:01:05 And I'm not ready.

00:01:46 because my old ones are starting to feel a little dated.

00:02:33 I'm going back to bed.

00:03:53 It's how white people talk, Mom.

00:04:52 It's where I'm going that counts.

00:05:51 Wow. Is this a Macintosh?

00:06:50 someone might think you got money.

00:07:44 Well, I'm off to see Joyce, my therapist.

00:08:38 Today? Like, for a date?

00:09:52 They probably have socks there.

00:11:50 I promise I won't tell.

00:12:49 from my mother's purse.

00:13:55 He's a hack.

00:14:38 Yeah, well, some of the things you taught me were dumb,

00:15:31 You know, at first, I was afraid, "Is he too old?

00:16:19 Why do you care?

00:17:20 I need someone I can talk with.

00:18:12 Wha... Oh! God!

00:19:09 Man, you really don't want to pay me, do you?

00:20:05 Thank you, Lillian.

00:21:03 How far along are you? We'll say Kimmy's the mom.

00:21:49 is pulling off that lipstick, which you have to let me borrow.

00:24:07 Good night, everybody!