Two and a Half Men — S11E09 — Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer

00:00:05 I don't usually meet women

00:00:49 You can't spell Google without "ogle." Can you?

00:01:49 We don't really have a connection. She's not very bright.

00:02:47 Oh, and how did he die?

00:03:34 My first wife was always using her electric tooth...

00:04:19 - Drunk? - No.

00:05:17 Not really. I live alone.

00:06:16 Why didn't you tell me we were going to a gay bar?

00:07:00 : Yay!

00:07:54 and you live on the fourth floor of a building with no elevator.

00:08:51 Oh, that is way too tart.

00:09:52 That was amazing.

00:10:48 and the whole kit and caboodle?

00:11:43 there's no chance it'll grow back, right?

00:12:37 We're out of naked Heidi Klum.

00:13:23 Give her 500 bucks, pat her down for silverware

00:14:07 Yeah, but you don't shtup the Sherpa.

00:15:01 You're getting a call from a "Hore"?

00:15:56 Okay, but I'm used to paying.

00:16:52 It's just me, silly.

00:17:53 Led you on? I let you in. I was trying to help you.

00:18:53 - Excuse me, sir? - What?

00:19:43 I mean, we wouldn't have gotten past the first date

00:20:58 I know someone wants to watch Babe again.