Two and a Half Men — S11E05 — Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003

00:00:11 What are you doing, Alan?

00:01:03 Well, I really enjoyed myself watching you enjoy yourself.

00:02:00 No. But you are on my to-do list.

00:02:41 All of my old clothes because I just got a new wardrobe.

00:03:40 Really?

00:04:26 Where to begin?

00:05:13 Where do you see you and Lyndsey in five years?

00:06:05 - That was amazing. - Tell your friends.

00:06:59 Okay, how about this?

00:07:47 "CSI, Urinating Bum Number Three."

00:08:34 Oh, no. What'd you eat?

00:09:42 in the space between my balls and my ass.

00:10:41 - But you did it. - Well, yeah, thanks to you.

00:11:24 There really is something about him.

00:12:10 Looks like we're into a lot of the same things.

00:13:07 No. Alan is plowing his girlfriend.

00:14:01 I've never seen Cats.

00:15:12 Hope we don't end up on the Kiss Cam.

00:16:17 It almost sounds made up, doesn't it?

00:17:09 It's a gift and a curse.

00:18:03 something from it.

00:18:51 You know what?

00:19:58 - Guess who got an audition. - Really?

00:20:55 Oh, shoot. Shoot. Shoot.