Two and a Half Men — S10E11 — Give Santa a Tail-Hole

00:00:02 JAKE: Previously on Two and a Half Men:

00:00:43 - That we're always honest with each other. - You got it.

00:01:30 Uh, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say 99 cents?

00:02:26 I'm sorry. Tell me about your day.

00:03:15 - It's not like I expect you to make $1 million. - Thank God!

00:04:07 Wait a minute, wait a minute. There's a staple-less stapler?

00:05:05 From a land where palm trees sway

00:05:53 and a new set of fingerprints. Six will get you the fingers.

00:06:45 Excuse me a sec.

00:07:59 - Oh, man. - What?

00:08:48 That will be a magical day.

00:09:39 - Balsam? Noble? Doug Fir? - Uh...

00:10:33 When you're at work, keep it in your pants.

00:11:28 - Already sold nine trees. - Nice!

00:12:11 I wish that made me feel better.

00:13:10 You are a natural, kid. You remind me of a young me.

00:14:03 Nine hundred and fifty million dollars, we can buy Oregon!

00:15:02 I have some bad news. I'm not gonna be here for Christmas.

00:15:57 Yeah, that's rough.

00:17:22 - That guy is a wreath-selling machine. - Ha, ha.

00:18:23 - You love me, don't you? - I pity you.

00:19:10 You know how when you say someone's one in a million?

00:19:56 Oh, you did it, you magnificent bastard!

00:21:05 Broccol-toe.