Two and a Half Men — S09E05 — A Giant Cat Holding a Churro

00:00:07 - Ready, sweetheart? LYNDSEY: Almost.

00:00:58 expensive dinner, drinks, valet parking...

00:01:38 Oh, don't be silly.

00:02:34 Alcohol is just a bandage for your problems.

00:03:18 - I see it now, I feel bad for the girls. - Yeah, yeah, somebody's daughter, shh!

00:04:01 Boy, she looks familiar.

00:04:53 I don't know, Alan. I think that's your girlfriend.

00:05:34 Sometimes I imagine she's twins.

00:06:52 So as not to hurt your feelings, sometimes my mouth says yes...

00:07:33 You're an attractive woman. You don't have to settle.

00:08:24 Berta?

00:09:15 What's going on?

00:10:08 I was young, stupid and needed the money.

00:10:52 um...

00:11:43 - You cheated on me with an old girlfriend. - Mm-hm.

00:12:48 I'm so glad I'm baked.

00:13:41 You know another good policy?

00:14:36 You heard me, Mr. Master Baker.

00:15:41 WALDEN: Hey, Alan, come here quick!

00:16:22 But what am I gonna do with all these incredibly hot girls in bikinis...

00:17:23 Oh, God, you saw it too?

00:18:04 Well, get rid of them. We are eating freestyle.

00:18:59 - Was that Lyndsey? - Yeah. I told her you were not here.

00:19:57 I'm such a schmuck.