Two and a Half Men — S08E12 — Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead

00:00:04 I hope you don't mind, I used your toothbrush.

00:01:00 Interesting. I fantasized about you having a heart attack or getting hit by a bus.

00:01:45 That's okay. I just got Avatar on DVD.

00:03:18 Please tell me Courtney isn't in your bedroom while you're looking at this.

00:04:02 Oh, no, no, no. It's just one of those teenage parties.

00:05:14 A bowl of fun for everyone

00:06:05 You know, you're welcome to tag along.

00:07:05 Okay, that's a good day's work.

00:07:55 I'll spare you the details of my selfish, narcissistic, soul-sucking mother...

00:08:37 She was already married. Whoops.

00:09:23 - Thank you. - For what?

00:10:19 Guess who brought beer.

00:11:01 He's a crazy bastard, but he's got good manners.

00:11:52 It's like taking a bird with a busted wing and putting him in a shoebox...

00:12:55 CHARLIE: Alan? - Yeah?

00:13:45 You think you can hump and drink even more?

00:14:38 and someone's chasing you with gasoline.

00:15:20 Bag, shag and skedaddle.

00:16:09 Uh...

00:16:54 towards your mother, brother and your nephew.

00:17:44 You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?

00:18:30 Just somehow go out and make new guy friends? Who does that?

00:19:20 - on the way home? - Pizza, really?

00:20:24 I love Mercedes. You go, girl.