Two and a Half Men — S08E11 — Dead from the Waist Down

00:00:04 All right, I have turned "it" into "ziti"...

00:00:52 Landmines for orphans.

00:01:43 Just a quiet romantic evening at home.

00:02:36 Alan, it's fine. I like staying in with you.

00:03:31 But I love you.

00:04:32 Charming.

00:05:15 Is that something you'd consider?

00:06:06 So are my shoes.

00:06:43 You expect me to pay $30-, $40,000 a year...

00:07:28 How much are we talking about?

00:08:09 Yeah, right. Cue the theme from Rocky.

00:11:12 - You sure about that? - Don't worry. They're real.

00:12:22 - in your brother's handwriting. - No kidding.

00:12:58 - Yeah. Why? - Maybe I could drive you.

00:13:54 Oh, please, God, help me.

00:14:36 about using my child support to buy Jake new clothes.

00:15:18 You peed in her jewelry box.

00:16:03 I have to sneak them back into Judith's jewelry box.

00:16:55 - Hey, baby. - Hey.

00:17:45 Oh, of course, you are. You've been working so hard.

00:18:39 - You shouldn't have. - Tell me about it.

00:19:24 Alan, what is wrong with you?

00:20:01 - and have a big fancy dinner. - What?

00:21:01 It's much easier the second time.