Two and a Half Men — S08E08 — Springtime on a Stick

00:00:05 So I'm confused.

00:00:48 In which case, it's totally unpuerile.

00:01:47 So, Megan, what's your deal?

00:02:28 Wait, don't go. He'll be passed out in 10 minutes.

00:03:29 Come on, Charlie.

00:04:19 EVELYN : What do you two want?

00:05:11 - It stands for "Evelyn." - Very good, darling.

00:05:52 I'd hate to be your age...

00:06:44 You've got a big heart.

00:07:28 You thought it'd be nice to invite Mom?

00:08:27 We can't talk?

00:09:17 Very smart, Alan. Bite the syphilitic hand that feeds you.

00:10:25 Don't ask if you don't care.

00:11:28 - Hi. - Hi. Nice to meet you.

00:12:09 Why'd she ask for birth control pills?

00:12:57 - What a wonderful idea. - I'd love to.

00:13:48 None that he admits to.

00:14:35 - Oh! Hi, Charlie. This is Jill. - Hi, Jill.

00:15:33 Four glorious months and counting.

00:16:23 No, no, what every woman dreams of is her sons fixing her up with a man...

00:17:16 Oh, hit me.

00:18:26 Wait, wait. You're opening a drug rehab facility in Malibu?

00:19:38 Mom?

00:20:47 What are you looking at?