Two and a Half Men — S07E14 — Crude and Uncalled For

00:00:03 Mm, oh.

00:00:52 - Oh, you know him? - No.

00:01:48 I am more than capable of providing one.

00:02:39 How's that, bitch?

00:03:39 I was gonna save it for our wedding. Couldn't wait.

00:04:59 it was the Beverly Hills jail. I've been there plenty of times.

00:05:48 Why would she go with him if you were defending her honor?

00:06:44 I don't wanna go to jail.

00:07:31 So you guys aren't gonna help him?

00:08:18 The mocking, the insults, the humiliation.

00:09:18 My fuse is long, but it is attached to dynamite.

00:10:11 Oh, you hippie.

00:11:01 You're very welcome.

00:11:49 Might even post the mugshot.

00:12:42 That's a terrible thing to say.

00:13:38 Me neither.

00:14:26 What if I can't control the monster?

00:15:21 Did the monster burn his mouth with his chamomile tea?

00:16:10 works with children...

00:17:00 Where the hell is this lawyer's stupid ranch?

00:17:47 Well, of course there's no signal. We're in the middle of nowhere.

00:18:47 You guys think there are mountain lions up here?

00:20:05 Yeah, pretty much.

00:20:54 ALAN: Ouchie!