Two and a Half Men — S07E09 — Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair

00:00:12 Wow.

00:00:57 Oh, please. Fireworks is the whole point of the exercise.

00:01:45 - Were you faking it? - Does it matter?

00:03:07 Good idea. That way you'll have the rest of the night to make her sick.

00:03:57 In that case, I better change.

00:04:55 Good news, Alan.

00:05:43 First month is free.

00:06:29 It's guaranteed not to smear, drip or ignite under normal circumstances.

00:07:31 I'm sorry, but this is a monkey.

00:08:22 Excuse me for trying to bring you back to "gaa."

00:09:04 It's nights like these that make me realize how lucky I am...

00:10:01 If the date was so bad, why are you home so late?

00:11:08 - Nice. - Great stocking stuffer for Christmas.

00:11:57 - Jerry? - God, no. I never let Jerry on top.

00:12:49 I gotta go.

00:13:46 Okay, I'm having a little problem, you know...

00:14:31 - Really? - Not with me, of course.

00:15:25 - The Talmud? - Yeah, I Googled it.

00:16:13 You do realize that at a certain point we'll have to go to bed.

00:16:56 It's personal.

00:17:50 has gotten in the way of you having an orgasm.

00:18:37 I love you even more.

00:19:31 - You have a good hand, don't you? - No, not at all.

00:20:42 What?