Two and a Half Men — S06E20 — Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau

00:00:04 Aren't you gonna wash your hands before you eat?

00:00:56 Good morning, darling.

00:01:39 Thank you.

00:02:54 What is wrong with you?

00:03:45 But it make things kind of tough on me.

00:04:34 Oh, don't be so dramatic.

00:05:25 as long as we've been going out, I've never met your mother.

00:06:12 Well, we certainly wouldn't want that.

00:07:18 At most, it's suicide adjacent.

00:08:04 I came all the way here and paid for my own parking to tell you it's great.

00:08:48 - You want a better relationship with him? - Not the way he is now.

00:09:47 Mommy has to fly faster than the other vultures.

00:11:03 Your mom's a terrific lady.

00:11:43 Bet I could get you in the mood.

00:12:56 I.e., you.

00:13:45 - What are you talking about? - What did she do?

00:14:29 Stainless steel submariner, waterproof to up to 300 meters.

00:15:42 T is for the traitor who's my brother

00:16:31 There's no excuse for speaking to your mother that way.

00:17:46 I am Alan Cousteau.

00:18:43 Have you seen him?

00:19:36 Really, I'm glad they make them pick up the dinner rolls with tongs...

00:20:41 Well, gosh, I don't know.

00:21:28 Can you watch me so it's not weird?