Two and a Half Men — S06E01 — Taterhead Is Our Love Child

00:00:05 He can type 80 words a minute with his thumb...

00:00:48 What was I supposed to do?

00:02:03 - Yep, long, long time. CHRISSY: Yeah.

00:02:49 - Actually, I do live there. It's not that bad. - Right.

00:03:37 Oh, crap. Quick, Dad, we gotta go home.

00:04:39 Well, it would appear that the old sperminator here...

00:05:23 Yikes.

00:06:06 Look, I told you, Charlie, I'm giving you the best bulk rate I can.

00:06:48 Well, if you're so concerned, help me out a little bit.

00:07:34 Anyway, condoms. Whenever you're dealing with a manufactured product...

00:08:21 Are they more effective?

00:09:08 - No, I am not. - What's going on?

00:10:05 I'm not sure Hallmark has a "deadbeat dad" section.

00:11:58 ALAN: Hurry, hurry.

00:12:47 Are you kidding? You drink, you gamble.

00:13:45 Well, I was in the neighborhood. I thought I'd stop by and say hello...

00:14:33 but he's a good dad, and he loves Chuck very much.

00:15:25 Can't even find my locker.

00:16:25 - Kid? - Yeah.

00:17:10 Some people are meant to be parents, and some people aren't.

00:18:11 - This is more than a little bit. - Hey, eight years is a long time.

00:18:54 - Thanks for the heads-up. - You're welcome.

00:19:58 knowing you're taking care of your own kid.

00:20:37 Hey, Mr. H. Long time no see.