Two and a Half Men — S05E11 — Meander to Your Dander

00:00:05 Well, that was just lovely.

00:01:09 I'm sorry, did you consider making your presence known?

00:01:50 Maybe not, you know, tree swinging...

00:02:33 until I'm looking at divorce papers or the pointy end of a steak knife.

00:03:33 And what's with the little pillows on their hands?

00:04:22 I'm not capable of rejecting another human being.

00:05:20 Does she have embarrassing photographs that could wind up on the Internet...

00:06:09 You know, little guns, Tasers, pepper spray.

00:07:02 - But that's crap. - It's all crap.

00:07:50 What can I say? She still knew it was me.

00:08:48 - I'm just gonna call her and reschedule. - No, no, no, you're not.

00:09:33 Ah, what a day that was. Sharing bratwurst and sauerkraut...

00:10:36 Well, actually, I thought we could stay in tonight.

00:11:46 You need to throw up, open the bag, snake.

00:12:47 The potpourri.

00:13:51 Well, now, hold on. Those, uh... Those motions are tried and true.

00:14:32 - Hot, hot, hot. - What can I do?

00:15:29 I don't know what to say.

00:16:18 I'm sorry to interrupt your dinner, but I'm sitting over there with my nephew...

00:17:09 - Sir, I am having dinner with my daughter. - And I am here with my nephew.

00:18:07 - Here you go. Clean and dry. - Thank you, thank you.

00:18:49 - None? - None at all.

00:20:10 Now, see, you really need to be more clear about what you meant...

00:21:30 Because it feels like you're staring at me.