Two and a Half Men — S05E06 — Help Daddy Find His Toenail

00:00:07 Wanna hear a great band?

00:01:07 It means to honor thy father.

00:01:51 - His name is Rocco? - Yeah.

00:02:29 Here. Your girlfriend's in the paper.

00:03:12 You know, I agree with Jake.

00:04:23 Might this be the business we're speaking of?

00:05:00 And let me remind you.

00:05:57 Don't confuse him. He just learned how to use a fork.

00:06:45 - Really? - Mom, no.

00:07:40 Did it even occur to you that you could help me?

00:08:22 So, ahem, do I look okay?

00:09:06 Guess I'll just have to watch my DVD of Fantasia on the natch tonight.

00:10:26 Son of a bitch.

00:11:19 Who the judge? You the judge.

00:12:30 Hey, wanna know what else is cool?

00:13:20 Why can't I go through that door?

00:14:13 JAKE: That's great. But you're sitting on my head.

00:15:17 I sounded it out.

00:15:59 Can I throw up in it?

00:17:02 Go to your room. I will talk to you later.

00:18:03 Hey.

00:18:45 But people are talking about me running for state senate next year.

00:19:51 I thought I was ready for a real relationship.

00:20:41 And as usual, Alan gets chicken pot pie.