Two and a Half Men — S05E05 — Putting Swim Fins on a Cat

00:00:02 - Hey. - Hey, what are you doing home?

00:00:48 Are you aware you haven't had a paying job in over nine months?

00:01:45 This doesn't concern you at all?

00:03:22 Now see, right there, that's one of the things that we love about you, you know.

00:04:11 This might be more than just a temporary dry spell for Charlie.

00:05:00 Check out what I bought Linda.

00:05:57 Well, this isn't breakup jewelry, this is "I like you, stick around" jewelry.

00:06:48 You do realize I was going to sleep with you tonight anyway.

00:07:38 I'm Brandon.

00:08:25 What?

00:09:08 the algebra tutor.

00:09:59 You know what, I'm just gonna make him a hot dog.

00:10:45 And it looks the same When it's in your poop

00:11:46 EVELYN: I'm such a pushover.

00:12:48 LINDA: Would you mind taking him? - Me?

00:13:43 I had a root beer I had a Coke

00:14:41 - I'm babysitting. - You?

00:15:25 The test group gets the actual medication...

00:16:25 That's not a toy.

00:17:26 Who cut the cheese? Who cut the cheese?

00:18:18 I just wanna soak in a hot bath and have a little me time.

00:19:03 Hi.

00:20:22 It's Linda's ex-husband. He wants to talk to you.

00:21:27 No, no, no. None of my own.