Two and a Half Men — S04E13 — Don't Worry, Speed Racer

00:00:03 - I have a question. - Yeah?

00:00:46 How much do I love this kid?

00:01:33 I was trying to tell you about sex.

00:02:24 Yeah, I heard him.

00:03:51 It seemed easier than explaining to him...

00:04:42 No.

00:05:40 - Sure, sure. - I tend to meander when I don't have...

00:06:36 All right, it was in the top five.

00:07:51 - Mom? - Oh, Charlie, say hello to Hiroshi Goto.

00:08:34 and back out of the sale.

00:09:16 You cheating bastard.

00:10:10 - Is that why you got rid of our dog? - I couldn't look at him anymore.

00:10:52 Nothing.

00:11:58 I can't be alone right now.

00:12:37 Mom's waterbed. Remember how we used to bounce up and down on it...

00:13:25 I just realized why Yosemite Sam always made me nauseous.

00:14:21 and at least we haven't been lying to him about having sex.

00:15:15 JUDITH: Are you happy? HERB: I may never be happy again.

00:16:22 No.

00:17:04 Am I gonna wake up remembering my mother in the shower with my uncle Donald?

00:17:58 No, that's pretty much it.

00:18:54 I was a terrific mother who loved you even though you were a horrible boy.

00:19:58 And you know what I'm thinking?

00:20:50 I'm the fastest gun north, south, east and west of the Pecos.