Two and a Half Men — S03E15 — My Tongue Is Meat

00:00:01 You know what I've been thinking about?

00:00:49 Remember that water pistol incident at school?

00:01:33 I think I'll jump in the shower. Wanna join me?

00:02:24 If they made you hold one in, that'd be cruel and unusual punishment.

00:03:08 You have to remember that over time that voice will fade...

00:04:59 What you doing?

00:05:53 - Charlie. - Great. Come on in.

00:06:50 Fifteen, 16, 17, 18...

00:07:42 and drink and gamble and stay out all night...

00:08:30 How do you feel about taking a whore's bath with a hunk of blue cheese?

00:09:24 Oh, boy.

00:10:22 I'm out here.

00:11:25 - Well, she did, but... - And did she...

00:12:19 It just goes to show, you can do anything you put your mind to.

00:13:13 I paid a slightly disturbed woman to toss a bag of cheeseburgers...

00:14:03 - Charlie, people are staring. - Let them stare.

00:14:59 Okay, what if a cannibal was on death row?

00:15:51 But you'd tell Rose, wouldn't you?

00:16:45 Oh, hi, Mother.

00:17:42 Hello.

00:18:36 was the best thing that happened to me and I threw it away.

00:19:37 Mia's not here. Do I have to smell you?

00:20:25 Jack, Johnnie and Jose.

00:21:29 That'd be swell.