Two and a Half Men — S03E10 — Something Salted and Twisted

00:00:02 Pretty fancy prices here.

00:00:46 - One question. - What?

00:01:40 I had to park three blocks away...

00:02:30 but I have an advance copy.

00:03:22 He's a hedonist who can't get behind anyone...

00:04:09 You know what? Forget it. Let's just order, eat and get out of here.

00:05:12 Whee!

00:06:13 - No, I can't. - You're right. That's a crock.

00:07:14 Rainbow sherbet.

00:08:09 Not to mention the residual body heat accrued from thousands of ass hours.

00:09:03 With every woman I've ever met.

00:10:28 Can I make you some oatmeal?

00:11:16 Shh. He's hung-over.

00:12:00 - I took care of your bathroom. - Thank you.

00:12:55 They'll all see.

00:13:47 Don't worry, I'll stand next to you. She'll assume it's me.

00:14:52 Sir, are you okay?

00:15:47 and you make every woman a substitute mom.

00:16:33 and put it in your mouth.

00:17:34 The point is, you can't let fear stand in your way.

00:18:30 That was lesson one? Lesson one sucked.

00:19:26 Now go ask that chick over there if you can buy her a drink.

00:20:29 I learned that to overcome my fear of rejection ingrained in me...

00:21:28 ALAN: Nighty-night.