Two and a Half Men — S03E06 — Hi, Mr. Horned One

00:00:05 That's a cool snake tattoo on your back.

00:00:49 - Good morning. - Hey, Dad.

00:01:31 Charlie didn't say anything when I was smoking in bed last night.

00:02:30 But I do think I have the right...

00:03:42 Mm-hm.

00:04:31 for thousands of years.

00:05:22 So be it.

00:06:29 Nothing, I just thought I'd put little blood-soaked pieces of toilet paper on it.

00:07:11 Do you have any idea what Isabella is really into?

00:08:01 who's watching the crack whore?

00:08:58 I'm more of a bourbon guy but push comes to shove...

00:09:44 Anoint him. Anoint him. Anoint him.

00:10:38 Okay, if open-mike night in the burn ward is over...

00:11:28 What else would it be?

00:12:39 Oh!

00:13:23 - That was some great party. - What happened?

00:14:12 Okay, here's the plan.

00:15:09 Jake, get over here.

00:15:51 Um...

00:16:42 Did you think those beautiful women were pleasuring you...

00:17:33 If you break your vows...

00:18:31 Go ahead, call the coven.

00:19:29 Goodbye, Isabella.

00:21:21 I call shotgun.