Two and a Half Men — S02E22 — That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
2005 · 21 MIN · IMDB 7.7 · 1,133 VOTES · DIR. Gary Halvorson
Overview
Evelyn buys Alan a new Sports car causing Charlie to claim that his brother has sold his soul to the Devil. The next day, Evelyn extracts payment by insisting that Alan go on a blind, double date with her, her new beau and his daughter. At the restaurant, Alan learns that his mother and boyfriend will not be able to join them because there was a mixup between his heart medication and Viagra and she didn't want to ""waste it"". As a result, Alan is left to deal with the daughter, who is on a weekend pass from a rehab center and still has some loose screws. Alan eventually gets her back to the beach house only to have her drive off in his new sports car and become the object of a televised high-speed car chase.
Dialogue Timeline — 352 lines
A SAMPLE ACROSS THE RUNTIME — EVERY LINE IS SEARCHABLE
00:00:01 Charlie? Where's Charlie?
00:00:42 I'm sorry. Charlie!
00:01:38 I'm all done. I'm going home now.
00:02:18 It's cute.
00:03:06 Now, come on. We'll go for a spin, pick up Jake.
00:03:54 No, I already owe you so much.
00:04:50 Yeah, they were out of the Porsche hats.
00:05:32 You need a bumper sticker that reads, "My other car is a puckered rectum."
00:06:47 No, no, you don't.
00:07:35 Wait a minute. That's a two-seater. Where's he gonna sit?
00:08:42 Look out on the deck.
00:09:32 And?
00:10:28 so we won't be ordering alcohol.
00:11:32 - Oh, please. Go ahead. - No. I don't think...
00:12:24 Oh, that's just great. Just jim-freaking-dandy.
00:13:25 Yeah, well, that doesn't mean we can't have a nice meal.
00:14:21 Hang on. She wants to talk to you.
00:15:19 Batman!
00:16:13 Oh, I'm such a disappointment to you.
00:17:09 Do tell.
00:18:04 and run like hell.
00:18:56 Well, it's cheesy and immoral...
00:20:04 Don't worry. I've watched hundreds of these. They never make it.
00:20:53 Relax, Dad. He's just busting your chops.
Cast & Characters
Dialogue Record
Production Record
Factoids
Two and a Half Men, season 2, episode 22: That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother.
https://www.themoviedb.org/tv/2691/season/2/episode/22IMDb rating preserved from the supplied subtitle archive; it may differ from the current IMDb rating.
Local subtitle archive