Two and a Half Men — S02E18 — It Was 'Mame', Mom

00:00:01 MAN : Some side effects include headaches...

00:00:53 Oh. To get them, or to make them go away?

00:02:03 That? Oh, that's Eric. He's the head of a big ad agency.

00:02:57 - Oh, Charlie. - It's harmless.

00:03:55 This man was responsible for almost half my income last year.

00:04:45 Forget it. You're asking too much.

00:05:28 Well, who's gonna believe you're the husband?

00:06:22 You want me to change, just tell me.

00:07:07 A little bit.

00:08:03 Ooh, appletinis.

00:08:55 Finish your story, Alan.

00:09:58 What are you, the Jolly Gay Giant?

00:10:52 A party where I don't know anyone, and you abandoned me.

00:11:41 Alan, eat something. Toast, a waffle. Anything absorbent.

00:12:39 Slutty is the new black.

00:13:36 - The dogs. - Straight women are so competitive...

00:14:29 I don't know. You're the one with nipple issues.

00:15:16 - Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you. Your son is adorable.

00:16:13 It was Mame, Mom.

00:17:11 Okay, that's it. I can't do this anymore.

00:18:02 Oh, but I do.

00:19:02 I need to drink beer, scratch my ass...

00:19:58 Thanks for the sweater.

00:21:01 It doesn't matter, darling. You're here, you're queer. I'm used to it.