Two and a Half Men — S01E01 — Pilot

00:00:02 - So, what do you think? - Wow.

00:01:01 Jeez.

00:02:18 Not sitting on your welcome mat.

00:03:09 - Charlie, I'm going. - CHARLIE: No.

00:04:00 - Okay, then. Good night. - No.

00:05:03 Will you take me swimming in the ocean?

00:05:58 For God's sake, do you think you could put some pants on?

00:07:05 Grandma says you're a bitter disappointment.

00:08:09 Yeah, but I'm not the one who's hungry.

00:09:12 not the Maple Loops song.

00:10:19 I just do this to keep the wolf from the door.

00:11:29 - Hey, thanks for cleaning up. - No, it wasn't me. Rose was here.

00:12:17 Hi, Mom.

00:13:11 EVELYN: Here's what you're going to do.

00:14:12 Must be all the extra oxygen they pump into the casinos.

00:14:50 ALL: I call.

00:15:53 Call you.

00:16:36 Dinner was swell. We both had the veal piccata and she's gay!

00:17:36 Yeah, that'd keep me up.

00:18:46 CHARLIE: You got to love a kid like that.

00:19:45 ROSE: Charlie?

00:20:38 Are you saying you want me to come back and live with you?

00:21:27 There's my good boy.

00:22:52 English -SDH