The Onion Movie

00:00:36 You can always count on the Onion to get the story.

00:03:30 Stop!

00:06:27 You in that apricot sweater suit, get your bitch ass on over here now!

00:09:34 Melissa Cherry is America's biggest pop sensation...

00:12:14 What about the song "Shoot Your Love All Over Me"?

00:15:17 Norm, listen, what he's trying to say is it's, uh, uh-

00:18:13 wearing clothing that is loose enough to hide his explosives.

00:21:09 I'm white. My whole family's white.

00:24:01 Grab a pole and go deep-sea fishing.

00:26:48 The lights are gonna go out. So, you lie down on the floor.

00:29:43 The nation's anti-tobacco lobby won another victory today...

00:32:38 This will knock the shit out of your ass.

00:36:38 Actually, your part is comedic. Uh, sort of a wise-cracking-

00:39:31 Mr. Nakatami, you are equally unhappy?

00:42:47 Oh!

00:47:44 All have fallen before the might of my broadsword.

00:51:44 And so can you...

00:55:24 Jumpin' Johnny blasts weeds to pieces!

00:58:37 Yes, none of it would have been possible without Brendan Laroux...

01:01:43 against my country is the reason-

01:07:35 The Al-Q'Utaya terrorist organization...

01:11:00 - Daddy, what's a Peruvian? - It's kind of like a Mexican.

01:14:55 Thanks, Kenneth. Pleasure to be here.

01:17:57 # It's a big job Don't wanna blow it #