The Hebrew Hammer
2003 · 81 MIN · IMDB 6.1 · 5,190 VOTES · DIR. Jonathan Kesselman
Overview
When a psychotic Santa tries to destroy Chanukah by hypnotizing Jewish children with bootlegged copies of the Christmas classic "It's a Wonderful Life," it's up to the Hebrew Hammer to save the day. Together with Mohammed, head of the Kwanzaa Liberation Front, the Hammer takes no prisoners in his quest to hunt down the renegade Santa and make the holiday season safe for all.
Dialogue Timeline — 1,753 lines
A SAMPLE ACROSS THE RUNTIME — EVERY LINE IS SEARCHABLE
00:00:23 Captioning made possible by COMEDY CENTRAL
00:06:10 WE WERE GONNA GIVE IT BACK.
00:09:37 THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS.
00:13:40 WE NEED A MAN--
00:16:48 I'M NOT LEAVING YOUR SIDE UNTIL YOU AGREE TO COME
00:19:36 MAYBE A LITTLE BLOWJOB HERE AND THERE ?
00:22:11 OH, MAYBE WE HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR DIAPIE.
00:26:32 I'LL BE IN TOUCH.
00:29:45 NO, I DON'T.
00:32:42 YEAH, L'CHEM.
00:37:08 CHILDREN !
00:40:36 SHIT !
00:43:55 YOU GOTTA GIVE OFF THE APPEARANCE OF COOL
00:46:58 NO, IT'S NOT.
00:50:19 ( man ) Shalom and thank you for riding
00:53:30 I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO.
00:56:44 NO.
00:59:50 I thought I was--
01:04:16 IT'S NOT EVEN 6:00.
01:08:00 MY ESTHER ?
01:11:56 I TRIES NOT TO KILL NO SAG, BUT YOU FUCKED ME.
01:15:03 NO, I INSIST ON YOU TAKING THE GUN !
01:18:09 WELL, I'M JUST GLAD YOU'RE SAFE,BUBBE SHAYNA.
01:21:35 ? I GOT KNOCKED ON THE GROUND ?
Cast & Characters
Adam Goldberg
Mordechai Jefferson Carver
Andy Dick
Damian Claus
Judy Greer
Esther Bloomenbergensteinenthal
Mario Van Peebles
Mohammed Ali Paula Abdul Rahim
Peter Coyote
JJL Chief Bloomenbergensteinenthal
Nora Dunn
Mrs. Carver
Sean Whalen
Tiny Tim
Tony Cox
Jamal
Richard Riehle
Santa
Melvin Van Peebles
Sweetback
Dialogue Record
Lines indexed1,753
Dialogue density21.6 lines / min
First line00:00:23
Final line01:21:35
Production Record
DirectorJonathan Kesselman
LanguageEnglish
Budget$2,000,000
Revenue$94,615
IMDb votes5,190