The Hebrew Hammer
2003 · 81 MIN · IMDB 6.1 · 5,190 VOTES · DIR. Jonathan Kesselman
Overview
When a psychotic Santa tries to destroy Chanukah by hypnotizing Jewish children with bootlegged copies of the Christmas classic "It's a Wonderful Life," it's up to the Hebrew Hammer to save the day. Together with Mohammed, head of the Kwanzaa Liberation Front, the Hammer takes no prisoners in his quest to hunt down the renegade Santa and make the holiday season safe for all.
Dialogue Timeline — 1,753 lines
A SAMPLE ACROSS THE RUNTIME — EVERY LINE IS SEARCHABLE
00:00:23 Captioning made possible by COMEDY CENTRAL
00:06:14 YOU TAKE GOD'S NAME IN VAIN ?
00:10:03 ET TU,BLITZEN ?
00:13:54 PERHAPS I CAN PERSUADE HIM.
00:17:09 YOU'RE A CERTIFIED CIRCUMCISED DICK.
00:20:02 OH.
00:22:55 OH, MAN, THEY'RE STILL DOING THIS ?
00:27:12 ( woman ) I LOVE YOU, HAMMER !
00:30:23 CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SHIT ?
00:34:08 LET ME GET THE BLACK LABEL.
00:37:55 NO.
00:42:01 I NEED YOU TO LISTEN CAREFULLY.
00:44:54 WELL, THAT'S NOT VERY CHRISTIAN OF YOU.
00:48:05 PLEASE, HAMMER, DON'T HURT 'EM.
00:51:54 BE CAREFUL !
00:55:21 WHAT ARE YOU SNORTING ?
00:57:42 I WANT YOU TO GET OVER HERE RIGHT AWAY.
01:01:20 YES, CHELLO.
01:06:15 IT LOOKS LIKE THE HEBREW HAMMER HAS A WEAKNESS AFTER ALL.
01:10:02 FOR INSTANCE, IF YOU WERE TO DRIBBLE A BASKETBALL
01:14:07 WHAT, I SCHLEP ALL THE WAY UP HERE FOR THIS ?
01:16:41 DREIDELS.
01:19:49 ( sleigh bells )
05:07:03 our people came unto this earth.
Cast & Characters
Adam Goldberg
Mordechai Jefferson Carver
Andy Dick
Damian Claus
Judy Greer
Esther Bloomenbergensteinenthal
Mario Van Peebles
Mohammed Ali Paula Abdul Rahim
Peter Coyote
JJL Chief Bloomenbergensteinenthal
Nora Dunn
Mrs. Carver
Sean Whalen
Tiny Tim
Tony Cox
Jamal
Richard Riehle
Santa
Melvin Van Peebles
Sweetback
Dialogue Record
Lines indexed1,753
Dialogue density21.6 lines / min
First line00:00:23
Final line05:07:03
Production Record
DirectorJonathan Kesselman
LanguageEnglish
Budget$2,000,000
Revenue$94,615
IMDb votes5,190