The Aristocrats

00:00:17 MAN: The joke leads me down one path and then it switches the path on me suddenly

00:03:22 We told them to each other. Not to do with our act.

00:06:35 Peanuts, of course.

00:09:45 - One of them takes a shit. - And everybody slides through it.

00:12:45 And other poems by Maya Angelou.

00:15:50 into the mouth of his older sister, who is being butt-fucked by the dog.

00:18:48 And the agent is fucking a dog, the Pope in the corner.

00:22:00 And the guy says, No... I'm sorry. Can we do that again?

00:25:16 In the Amish version - the father flicks on a light, the mother's using a radio remote

00:28:26 and a gorilla named Daisy from the Belgian Congo.

00:31:56 and the daughters are screaming and he chases them and smashes them on the back of the leg.

00:35:32 I saw Christopher Walken tell that story.

00:39:12 And then, Aunt Sadie comes in and does an acrobatic number.

00:43:55 They have a paper route, they go to school...and then you fuck 'em.

00:47:19 And he's not trying to be foul.

00:50:13 They think they're missing it, they don't know the journey is the fun.

00:53:29 What do they call this act? The Aristocrats. He's dead.

00:56:32 He plays the most beautiful song the owner's ever heard.

00:59:34 Not The Tonight Show.

01:03:02 The people who say the joke must contain shit - don't invite them into your home.

01:06:20 I don't get it.

01:09:42 And the talent agent says...

01:13:25 One of the clichés people often go to is...

01:17:03 Don't ever ask me to do another favour for you.