The Abbott and Costello Show — S01E03 — Jail

00:00:41 What do you always got to hide my face for?

00:01:25 Was that not a beautiful reading?

00:02:27 Not now. See you later.

00:03:20 How dare you speak to a single girl you don't even know,

00:04:25 Oh, sure.

00:05:21 Be careful.

00:08:20 I'm picking oranges for Hillary. I want to make up with her.

00:09:12 - You shot me out of this tree! - Hello, Mrs. Crumbcake.

00:10:05 You perforated my bucket!

00:11:11 and Benjamin Franklin fought for?

00:12:06 First I'll put you on the witness stand all by yourself,

00:13:22 Abbott, I don't think this judge likes me.

00:14:38 I didn't see it.

00:15:53 Counsel, have you anything more to say

00:16:55 I hereby order you to pay the plaintiff the 79 cents

00:17:53 What does he care about time?

00:19:04 A girl! Of course she's a girl! She was wonderful!

00:20:02 She was out.

00:20:58 I sank on the heap in the sands, and when I regained consciousness,

00:22:05 Knock it off! Knock it off!

00:23:06 where everybody goes when they get married.

00:23:58 Well, he's all yours.

00:25:00 Niagara Falls!

00:26:00 - Good night, folks. - Good night.