The Abbott and Costello Show — S01E01 — The Drug Store

00:00:44 What's the matter?

00:01:25 You think the folks out there will like it?

00:02:04 Well, all right. It's not important.

00:02:48 I do the whole story by myself!

00:03:31 'Cause you know what "capsize" means.

00:04:24 He's got me mad at you, folks, now.

00:05:02 - He sacrificed himself. - Yeah.

00:06:05 because every little schoolboy knows that story.

00:07:12 I asked you what?

00:08:17 Shh!

00:09:18 I can't?

00:10:23 Don't take it.

00:11:22 He runs a drugstore right around the corner.

00:12:44 In fact, she drug me all over.

00:14:07 There you are.

00:15:05 Don't forget. $3 million for me and $3 million to you.

00:16:14 He wanted another day off.

00:17:40 ALL KIDS: We want candy!

00:19:48 You can't even say “licorice."

00:20:42 Yes, it's me!

00:22:07 Sure. The more whipped cream, the bigger the kiss.

00:23:42 I don't care about money. I'll throw it away.

00:24:42 You... you're fired!

00:25:57 Good night!