Saturday Night Live — S05E18 — Bob Newhart/The Amazing Rhythm Aces, Bruce Cockburn

00:00:20 GOOD EVENING, I'M DR. CARL SAGAN.

00:02:40 NOT COSMOS, STUPID, THE COSMOS. AREN'T THEY SOMETHING?

00:05:22 IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT! Announcer: IT'S SATURDAY

00:08:52 NOW, WE ARE ARRIVING AT THE MODERN CITY OF SAN SEBASTOPOL, MODERN CITY CUT OUT OF THE

00:11:17 WITH WHAT YOU MIGHT CALL, I GUESS, BRIDE FOR HIS STAY THERE. WE... WE TRIED TO EXPLAIN TO

00:14:07 GOT A CASE OF THE JITTERS. OKAY DON, HAVE YOU GOT YOUR PREPARED QUESTIONS?

00:17:17 NUMBER THREE? IS SOMEONE THERE? IN A WAY, YEAH.

00:19:52 Jim: AND BACHELORETTE NUMBER TWO: SHONDA THE CAT LADY. IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND

00:24:10 BEEN SATISFIED ♪ ♪ TELL ME, TELL ME, TELL ME ♪ ♪ WHO WILL THE NEXT FOOL BE? ♪

00:29:27 WITH AFRICAN LEADERS, AND RECRUITED SEVERAL GOOD-LOOKING PROSPECTS FOR

00:31:19 WEEK'S SURPRISE HOSTAGE RESCUE ATTEMPT. CARTER IS TRYING TO GET MUSKIE

00:33:29 I WAS TRYING TO GET A CAB. I SHOULD HAVE A LIMOUSINE. I MEAN, LET'S BE REASONABLE,

00:36:11 HE'S TIMID, INDECISIVE, AND EASILY PRESSURED.

00:40:51 TO DO AND THEN I MAKE A LIST. SAY, YOUR... YOUR REGIMEN HAD A LOT OF CASUALTIES

00:43:54 I'M NOT GONNA LIE FOR YOU. MAJOR JESSUP? MAJOR JESSUP, I'VE COME TO SEE

00:46:08 OR SO BUT I REALLY SHOULD WRITE MY HUSBAND. WELL, I TELL YOU WHAT I DO.

00:51:21 CLOSING UP SOON. I-I WILL. GOODBYE, SWEETHEART.

00:53:11 OH DAVE, DID I TELL YOU THAT MRS. PARKER CALLED? SPEAK OF THE DEVIL.

00:55:29 I WANT HALF A TELEVISION, ISAAC STERN'S NEPHEW, A SQUARE BASKETBALL,

00:57:27 PLEASE, I NEED IT BAD. PROPELLER BEANIE. ALL RIGHT, HERE YOU GO.

01:00:04 SOON IF I'M NICE TO HIM. Mr. Bill: OH NO! YOU STAY AWAY FROM HIM.

01:01:32 Mr. Bill: NO WAIT! YOU DROPPED THAT ROPE ON ME! HEY, WHERE YOU GOING?

01:03:51 DO IT, LET'S DO IT. I MEAN, WHY WAIT? IS THERE SOMETHING

01:06:43 GOODNIGHT! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!