Saturday Night Live — S04E06 — Carrie Fisher/The Blues Brothers

00:00:16 GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. IT IS SHOWTIME HERE AT THE

00:07:20 BAR, AND HE GETS AN IDEA. HE SAYS TO JABBA, "MY DEFLECTOR SHIELDS ARE MALFUNCTIONING.

00:09:36 'CAUSE IF I'D DONE ONE IN THE '50s, IT MIGHT NOT HAVE TURNED OUT SO WELL, YOU KNOW?

00:11:56 I'M PRINCESS LEIA. WOW. A REAL PRINCESS FROM OUTER

00:14:04 OLDER GUY, YOU KNOW? EVERYBODY SEEMS TO BE FRIENDLY

00:16:49 HEY! ERIC VON ZIPPER! HEY!

00:19:17 WELL, YOU NEVER GIVE US ANY TIME TO OURSELVES! WELL, IF I GET TO KNOW THE

00:21:44 I'M TRYING, DAVE! WHAT DO YOU GUYS WANT TO DO TONIGHT?!

00:24:51 OH, I JUST DON'T... I JUST DON'T KNOW. I MEAN, WHAT WOULD MOTHER WANT?

00:27:29 THIS IS IT. 1217.

00:30:12 DETERMINED THAT ST. JOHN WAS A SWAMP-DWELLING HERBIVORE WHO WEIGHED NEARLY 6 TONS AND STOOD

00:32:31 IN ITALY, THE ITALIAN PRESS IS CHARGING THAT THE OFFICIAL BANK OF THE VATICAN, THE

00:34:59 GET THEIR CLIENTS OFF PRETTY EASY. WELL, IT'S THE SAME IN THE

00:37:35 'CAUSE THEY'RE ALWAYS SCRAPING AGAINST EACH OTHER. AND THERE'S OTHER PEOPLE THERE

00:39:42 CUTE AND EVERYTHING, AND MY MOTHER WOULD MAKE A TURKEY WITH STUFFING.

00:45:00 ♪ I MADE A TRUCK STOP FOR TOOTHPICK AND WATER ♪ ♪ I GOT A RIDE FROM A FRUIT

00:49:31 YOU KNOW? I HAD A FORK WITH A DOUBLE SAFETY HANDLE ON IT AND

00:51:14 I LAUGHED, AND I SCARED THE LIVING BEGEEZ OUT OF THE LITTLE GUY.

00:53:02 I'VE GOT LOTS TO LOOK FORWARD TO, YOU KNOW? UNHAPPY MARRIAGES, HOUSEHOLD

00:55:37 BECAUSE I'M SO THIRSTY. GIVE ME A BEER, AND GIVE THIS THIRSTY PERSON A GLASS OF WATER.

00:58:08 ANYTHING ABOUT BUSINESS. OHH.

01:00:36 TONIGHT'S "BAD RED CHINESE BALLET" IS REALLY, REALLY BAD.

01:03:55 BULLFIGHTS THERE UNTIL SOMEONE TOLD ME ABOUT THE GLADIATORIAL COMBAT.

01:06:38 GOOD NIGHT.