Saturday Night Live — S03E17 — Michael Sarrazin/Keith Jarrett

00:00:01 AND NOW, FROM THE WHITE

00:02:03 GOOD. NOW, HONEYBUNCH, CAN YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT 8% OF $12.50 IS?

00:05:32 BEING TAX DAY, IS THE 66th ANNIVERSARY OF THE SINKING OF THE TITANIC.

00:08:05 CAN GET MARRIED. OH, JOHNNY! THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY!

00:10:17 HEY, UH, SEE YOU AFTER THE BIG GAME TONIGHT. OKAY, JOHNNY.

00:12:25 THEN HE'LL THINK SHE GAVE IT TO HIM. IT'S A WEIRD IDEA, BUT A

00:15:16 I'VE HAD SEX WITH HER, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN. OH, MY GOD!

00:17:30 Infection. AH, THANK YOU, SETH. Check that.

00:25:10 INVENTED THE BRAND-NEW, TERRIFIC PRODUCT CALLED THE WOODS, WHERE I CAN GO AND LIVE AND GET AWAY

00:27:37 AND NOW, PRESENTING THE FABULOUS SINGER THAT EVERYONE KNOWS, MISS CHICA LALITA.

00:30:17 DEVELOPS. THIS WEEK, BERT LANCE ATTACKED THE PRESS FOR BIASED REPORTING.

00:32:03 THE HEAVENS OVER HOLLYWOOD. SHE'S THE CUTEST LITTLE PIXIE OF A DARLING SINCE

00:33:49 ARE YOU HAPPY? WELL, YES, I'M HAPPY.

00:35:36 INTACT. THAT OUGHT TO MAKE YOUR MILITARISTIC, CAPITALISTIC HEART

00:37:24 I FELT SO SAD I COULDN'T EAT, I COULDN'T SLEEP, I COULDN'T LEAVE THE HOUSE, I COULDN'T DO

00:39:20 TALK ABOUT YOUR OWN PERSONAL, DISGUSTING PROBLEMS. WELL, JANE, IT JUST GOES TO

00:41:20 BREAK IT UP! BREAK IT UP!

00:43:14 AH, OUI? YEAH. HEY, THEY'VE GOT NICE BOOTS

00:45:26 OKAY, CHRISTY. NOW, EVERYBODY KNOWS EXERCISE IS GOOD FOR YOU.

00:46:56 GRACILIS MUSCLE, OR INNER THIGH.

00:53:39 ELLA. ELLA. GILDA, BLOW ME A KISS!

00:55:18 GILDA! GILDA!

00:59:01 UTILIZING LONG STICKS TO BAT TINY BALLS INTO HOLES IN THE GROUND FOR PUBLIC ADULATION.

01:05:47 GOOD NIGHT.