Saturday Night Live — S03E16 — Michael Palin/Eugene Record

00:00:01 Announcer: "GRANDMA WALTON TRIES TO TIE HER SHOELACE" WILL NOT BE SEEN TONIGHT SO THAT NBC

00:03:32 THANK YOU, ANWAR. THERE'S SOMETHING I WANT TO SAY ABOUT AN INCIDENT THAT OCCURRED

00:07:02 EH?" AND START GIVING IT MILK, YOU KNOW, BUT HE'S, ON THE WHOLE, KIND.

00:09:15 JUST BRING THEM DOWN HERE. NICE LITTLE SQUEAKERS. BRING THEM DOWN. LOVELY.

00:12:33 WELL, THIS WILL ONLY TAKE A SECOND. I GOT A JOB TO DO.

00:14:41 I DID IT. BOY. OOH, THAT FEELS GOOD TO GET IT OFF MY CHEST.

00:18:00 MORNING, BORIS ALEKSEYEVICH." SO... OH... LET US JOIN ACT II OF CHEKHOV'S "THE SEAGULL,"

00:21:12 THAT WAS NEVER... OH, WE DID IT 1 MINUTE, 7 ON... OH, I DON'T BELIEVE THAT!

00:24:00 THEY ALL GATHER 'ROUND ME, YEAH. HAH.

00:27:58 ALTERNATE WEAPON... THE FIG NEUTRON, WHICH ONLY DESTROYS FRUIT-FILLED COOKIES BUT DOES

00:30:13 A MINUTE. TONGSUN PARK TESTIFIED THAT HE NEVER WORKED FOR THE KCIA.

00:32:29 RADIO CITY, AND I SAW "GRIMM'S FAIRY TALES." I HAD A GREAT TIME.

00:34:19 DOES HE CARE ABOUT CHINA... THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA? RADIO CITY MUSIC HALL?

00:36:37 WELL, WHEN YOUR SKIN CLEARS UP, THEY'LL BE MAKING SNOWBALLS IN HELL.

00:38:55 WE PRACTICED YESTERDAY, LISA. ALL RIGHT.

00:41:24 YOU KNOW... YOU KNOW SOMETHING, TODD? HE TRIED TO KISS ME, BUT I

00:45:21 GOOD DAY, DR. WATSON. HELLO, HOLMES OLD BOY.

00:47:30 WATER, TEA, COCAINE? NO, NOTHING, THANK YOU. WELL, MISS HAMMERCRACK, WHY

00:49:28 HERE'S YOUR LUNCH, MR. HOLMES. YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD GET SOME

00:52:06 THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUN?

00:54:08 ELAINE FOR YOU. I'M NOT GOING. WELL, TELL HER, NOT ME.

01:00:00 BETTER. NO! NEVER MIND, MR. BILL, 'CAUSE

01:02:43 SUMBITCH KLAN GRAND WIZARD PUT ME OUT OF PROBATION? SUMBITCH'S KLAVERN?

01:05:55 GOOD NIGHT.