Saturday Night Live — S02E17 — Jack Burns/Santana

00:00:01 Announcer: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, "SATURDAY NIGHT" IS PROUD TO PRESENT

00:02:52 HAPPENED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AT 7:00. ♪ OOH, AH-OOH ♪

00:06:24 AND I HAD A SMALL PART IN A RADIO SERIES HERE, AND ONE DAY AFTER THE MATINEE, I CAME

00:08:53 INDEED, WE DISCUSSED THAT POSSIBILITY OVER BREAKFAST THIS MORNING.

00:11:03 YES, WE'VE TAKEN ALL FACTORS INTO CONSIDERATION. NOW, WE KNOW THAT DON CORNELIUS

00:14:04 YOU GOT A DEAL. Announcer: TUNE IN NEXT WEEK

00:16:08 OH, YOU. BRODERICK CRAWFORD! BRODERICK CRAWFORD... RIGHT.

00:18:03 HOW ARE YOU, MR. CRAWFORD? GOOD, AND YOU? FINE, THANK YOU.

00:22:04 A WHOLE ♪ ♪ AND WHEN THE PEOPLE SHOUT ♪ ♪ YOU GOT TO HEAR THEM OUT ♪

00:24:57 FROM OLD FRIENDS AND PEOPLE I OWE MONEY TO, BUT FROM YOU PEOPLE, I HEAR NOTHING.

00:27:24 NUCLEAR WARHEAD. YOUR JOB IS TO TAKE A CAN OF

00:32:47 FRIDAY FORMALLY UNVEILED THE NEW OFFICIAL PORTRAIT OF THE PRESIDENT, PAINTED ON COMMISSION

00:35:32 OPENED IN MALAYSIA THIS WEEK. UNFORTUNATELY, A CARELESS PROJECTIONIST TURNED UP THE

00:38:02 THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU'RE DEAD,"

00:39:53 50 POUNDS OF BLACK TIBETAN FINGER HASH AND TWO KEYS OF SLAM!

00:42:11 I'M NOT OBLIGED TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION. LOOK, DON'T MAKE TROUBLE FOR

00:44:05 GIVE ME THAT THING, WILL YA? THIS IS CAPTAIN MATHEWS OF THE HIGHWAY PATROL.

00:45:40 PLAN, YOU WOULDN'T BE SAYING THIS RIGHT NOW. YOU MEAN, A QUARTER AS MUCH.

00:48:16 MY IWWUSTWIOUS CAWEER. I JUST WETURNED FROM IWAN, WHERE I WAS INTERVIEWING THE SHAH AND

00:50:17 PHYSICAWWY? ABOUT 5'3½"... ON THE PETITE SIDE.

00:56:28 RICHARD NIXON WOULDN'T ASK ANYBODY TO DO ANYTHING HE WOULDN'T DO HIMSELF.

00:58:22 OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. NOW, GET THIS. THE WHITE HOUSE WILL HAVE A

01:00:12 G-MEN. BOYS, YOU GO AHEAD TO THE STEAM ROOM.

01:05:59 GOOD NIGHT.