Saturday Night Live — S02E10 — Candice Bergen/Frank Zappa

00:00:03 OH, PATTY, I'M SO HAPPY YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO SPEND THE HOLIDAYS IN THAT AWFUL PRISON.

00:02:04 YOU DESERVE IT. THANK YOU, SIR. WHY DON'T WE PUT AWAY THE

00:05:47 THE CAMERA MAKES HIM LOOK 50 POUNDS HEAVIER. JANE, WHAT'S THE MATTER?

00:07:32 YOU WANT. JOHN, CAN'T YOU JUST THINK ABOUT US?

00:09:27 BOY, YOU SOUND AS GOOD AS EVER. LISTEN UP, SAM, YOU CAN CLOSE UP FOR THE NIGHT.

00:12:11 ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS? SURE! YOU KNOW.

00:14:13 AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, A SPECIAL CHRISTMAS TREAT... THE MELLOW SOUNDS OF

00:18:37 KNIVES SPRING FROM HIS ARMS. MR. MAINWAY, I'M AFRAID THIS IS BY NO MEANS A SAFE TOY.

00:20:11 I MEAN, WE SELL A LOT OF PRODUCTS IN THE "BAG O'" LINE, LIKE BAG O' GLASS, BAG O' NAILS,

00:21:54 BALL? I MEAN, EVEN YOU, MR. MAINWAY, CAN'T FIND ANYTHING DANGEROUS

00:23:52 WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE YOU POURED IT IN YOUR PURSE, YOU SEE.

00:26:37 DEFICIT, PRESIDENT-ELECT CARTER HAS TAKEN A PART-TIME JOB DELIVERING DRY CLEANING IN THE

00:28:30 THE FALLOUT REPORT. WE, UH, HOPE TO GIVE YOU AS MUCH INFORMATION AS WE CAN ON THE

00:29:54 SAN DIEGO AREA SOMETIME NEAR THE END OF THE MONTH AND PROBABLY BEFORE CHRISTMAS ANYWAY.

00:31:41 MESSAGE.

00:34:15 UH, THAT'S UNICEF, NOT UNISEX. THE EDITORIAL WAS ABOUT UNICEF,

00:41:08 BUYERS. HOW DO THEY DO IT? WELL, BY LOOKING FULL AND

00:43:29 HERE, SERGEANT NAGEY. TRY TO DESCRIBE IT, NOW. WAS HE TALL? SHORT?

00:45:31 I'M AFRAID WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO ASK FOR ONE MORE THING. WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO ASK YOU TO

00:47:44 HE'S JUST AN INNOCENT STAGEHAND. HE DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT.

00:51:06 EXTREME MOMENT OF ALL, FOR, AFTER THE PAIN, THE COLD, THE HOURS, THE DISTANCE, AFTER THE

00:53:16 I'M NOT FUSSY. I'D LIKE SOME CANDIED YAMS, SOME PLUM PUDDING, A ROAST GOOSE

00:55:45 ON THE FIRE... AND THEN LET'S THROW GARY GILMORE ON THERE, TOO...

01:06:06 TANNENBAUM, O TANNENBAUM ♪