Saturday Night Live — S01E14 — Desi Arnaz with Desi Arnaz Jr.

00:00:02 COME IN. GOOD AFTERNOON, MR. PRESIDENT.

00:02:06 YOU CAN SAY A DIFFERENT WORD FROM THE ONE I SAY, OKAY? YES, OF COURSE. I'M SORRY.

00:05:44 THEY'RE WONDERFUL, AND DON'T YOU LET THEM KID YOU. THEY'RE READY FOR ANYTHING,

00:08:16 YEAH, BUT YOU PICKED THE WRONG MOMENT. WHAT'S WRONG WITH A LITTLE

00:11:13 INDEED HONORED THIS EVENING TO HAVE WITH US A MAN WHO IS MOST EQUAL TO THE TASK OF CAPTURING

00:15:22 LOOKING FOR A FOURTH FOR MIXED DOUBLES. AND, BABY, I-I FEEL LIKE I GOT

00:18:30 I'VE ALMOST FORGOTTEN HOW WE ARRIVED AT THE IDEA. YOU SEE, FIRST YOU TRY A LOT OF

00:21:37 OH, IT'S MUCH BETTER. OH, GOOD, GOOD. YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE SCOTCH.

00:24:57 THE MOOSE THROUGH THE KITCHEN DOOR. OH, NO! THAT BOOK!

00:28:05 A NUMBER OF JEWISH GROUPS HAVE BEEN BOYCOTTING TRAVEL TO MEXICO AFTER ITS U.N. ANTI-ZIONIST VOTE

00:30:24 BAKING AND PRACTICE MY BACKHAND EVEN THOUGH I'M ON CALL 24 HOURS A DAY AS A LEGAL AIDE...

00:32:31 ASKED TO COMMENT ON HER NEW WELL-GROOMED IMAGE, PATTY TENSELY REPLIED, "I WAS AFRAID

00:34:39 YOU'LL BE A BIG MAN ON CAMPUS, HUH? JEEZ, THANKS, MR. NITTI.

00:36:46 I FIGURED YOU LIKED IT. HELLO. LUCY?

00:39:06 NO, THOSE TWO DAMES SUNBATHING ON THE ROOF. OKAY, MEN.

00:41:51 TIME TO DIET WHERE YOU'RE GOING, NITTI. LITTLE DID NESS KNOW THAT ONE

00:44:02 IT'S THE GREATEST, BUT WE GOT TO HURRY, OKAY? OH, LUCY!

00:48:03 HE'LL GIVE ME EIGHT HOURS... GIVE ME SEVEN OR EIGHT HOURS... AND THEN HE JUMPS ON THE BED,

00:50:30 HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING AT THIS POINT.

00:53:07 MNH-MNH. ALL RIGHT. WE'LL TRY A CORONA.

00:55:23 I'M SORRY. WILL YOU STEP ON THAT SPOT, PLEASE?

00:57:35 THAT'S THE PROBLEM, JUDY. I THINK THE PROBLEM IS YOUR CROMZOID ATTITUDE.

00:59:57 THEM. THE COUPLE ALWAYS REGRETTED THAT THE LAWS OF THE DAY KEPT THEM

01:06:19 HEY, MOM! HEY, MOM!