Saturday Night Live — S01E06 — Lily Tomlin

00:00:02 Announcer: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

00:02:35 WHEREAS THE... WAIT! I...

00:06:17 AND MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, "WOULDN'T IT BE NICE IF ALL

00:12:03 INSTEAD ♪ Both: ♪ ST. JAMES INFIRMARY ♪

00:15:15 BEST METHOD TO WARD OFF THE LAND SHARK, IN CASE OF ATTACK, IS TO HIT IT HARD ON THE NOSE WITH A

00:17:14 THIS HAS GOT TO STOP. WE'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING. I KNOW.

00:19:20 BECAUSE I DON'T SOUND LIKE A SHARK, DO I? COME ON, IT'S ME... MATT!

00:21:13 WE'LL BE GETTING OUT OF HERE... RIGHT OUT OF YOUR WAY, HERE. AND HOPE YOU WILL BE COMING BACK

00:25:36 WILL BE RICHARD PRYOR. AND, UH...

00:28:02 PROVED HE STILL HAS THE FASTEST HANDS IN THE BUSINESS BY CATCHING A LIVE MORTAR ROUND IN

00:30:44 AND NOW, AS A PUBLIC SERVICE TO THOSE OF OUR VIEWERS WHO HAVE DIFFICULTY WITH THEIR HEARING, I

00:33:49 THE GOOD LORD GAVE YOU ♪ ♪ LIKE FRONT-PORCH ROCKERS, PICKET FENCES, DUSTY ROADS, AND

00:36:44 COME WITH ME. WE'LL CHECK OUT HIS PLACE. IT'S RIGHT OVER HERE.

00:38:27 AND I... WELL, I'VE ENJOYED IT MYSELF, SCRED.

00:41:44 PAIGE, AND JOSEPH, WHO ARE SITTING HERE IN THE FRONT.

00:43:46 DAMN RIGHT I STILL DRIVE! WHAT SHOULD I DO... SIT HOME AND COLLECT WELFARE?

00:45:58 INN, YOU KNOW, OUT BY THE AIRPORT THERE. YEAH?

00:49:50 OKAY, NOW, EXCHANGE STUDENT DANNY OVER HERE... HEY, YOU. HE HAS KINDLY OFFERED TO AID US

00:51:31 NICE SELECTION. HONEY, COME ON, KEEP IT UP. LET'S GO.

00:53:04 YOU LITTLE JUICY BUNS. HEY, HEY! OKAY.

00:55:33 NONE OF THE CATS IS GONNA ASK US TO DANCE. WANT TO YOU AND I DANCE?

00:57:48 OOGA! OOGA OOGA! SO WHAT ARE YOU LOOKIN' AT?!

01:00:24 COME ON, HONEST TO GOD, I AIN'T LOOKIN'. WHAT'S HE DOING?

01:04:17 GOOD NIGHT.