Sarah Millican: Chatterbox Live

00:00:04 - Five minutes, Sarah. - I'm just gonna go and have a quick snack.

00:04:36 He said, "I don't think you should get one that's got a balcony.

00:08:37 If I could have any animal, I'd probably have a cat.

00:12:26 (Scattered applause)

00:16:27 I did worry when I was about to turn 30. I worried about turning 30.

00:20:54 Play the guess the weight of the lady stall at the fairground.

00:24:36 I don't find that very relaxing. Er...

00:28:45 And I ended up sitting in an empty bath.

00:32:53 "Does yours look like that?"

00:36:48 I mean, that's when they grew.

00:40:50 It's gone from being quite a nice answer to, like, a rally, hasn't it?

00:45:00 Three points for speeding while rushing to help an old lady.

00:49:21 "We've been showing our boobs to bad men for years."

00:54:06 is the same as having actual sex.

00:58:18 "No."

01:02:45 - Give us a cheer if you have got kids. - (Cheering)

01:07:07 Lamp is a good answer. Thank you very much.

01:11:40 - Did it? - It was quite an old car. It just came off.

01:15:30 She thought he was having a marvellous time.

01:19:48 And he put one hand firmly on my boob.

01:24:02 I've had a bloke say chips and a bloke say curry.

01:28:02 When I was eventually right, I went over to the cake stand

01:32:30 A friend of mine had a baby in August last year.

01:36:41 (Audience groans)