My Name Is Earl — S02E01 — Very Bad Things

00:00:02 YOU KNOW THE KIND OF GUY WHO DOES NOTHING BUT BAD THINGS...

00:00:42 AND YOU ARE MAKING ME FEEL ANGRY BECAUSE YOUR NEEDS DON'T MAKE SENSE.

00:01:23 AND MAKE YOU FLY AROUND THIS BAR LIKE A LOOSE BALLOON.

00:02:03 I'VE BEEN WAITIN' MY WHOLE LIFE FOR SOMEBODY TO THROW ME A SURPRISE PARTY.

00:02:39 LOOK AT THAT BIG-ASS TV DISAPPEAR INTO THAT ENTERTAINMENT CENTER.

00:03:26 WHEN JOY WENT TO RETURN IT, SHE RAN INTO YET ANOTHER PROBLEM.

00:04:24 OKAY, I'M LEAVIN' IT HERE. IT'S YOURS. I HAVE RETURNED IT.

00:05:40 WHATEVER. I DON'T BUY STOLEN TRUCKS FROM AMATEURS.

00:06:22 OH, CALM DOWN. I JUST GOTTA PICK UP THE TRUCK KEYS.

00:07:23 - I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT. - WHY? YOU'RE THE ONE THAT WANTED A PARTY.

00:08:26 WELL, YOU GOT A GOOD POINT. THE STORE DID DO YOU WRONG.

00:09:08 I JUST DON'T KNOW IF IT'S A GOOD IDEA...

00:09:55 OW!

00:10:50 SO HE HAD PLENTY TO EAT AND PLENTY TO KEEP HIM ENTERTAINED.

00:11:42 ALL RIGHT, LOVE, I WANT YOU TO LISTEN TO ME CAREFULLY...

00:12:34 CRAP, CRAP, CRAP! WHY ME? WHY DO BAD THINGS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE?

00:13:23 BUT THEN I GOT DISTRACTED BY THE HOSTAGE AND ALL.

00:14:09 YEP.

00:15:13 I'M SORRY, RANDY. WHERE'S JOY?

00:16:38 "ALWAYS WEAR CLEAN UNDERWEARS, 'CAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN?"

00:17:37 YOU NEVER DRIVE THIS FAST WHEN I ASK YOU TO.

00:18:14 WHAT? JUST UNTIL HE BECOMES OUR FRIEND AND PROMISES NOT TO TELL.

00:19:01 BESIDES, MY GUESS WAS THAT THE GUY WAS SO SCARED...

00:19:54 NIGHT, RANDY. GOOD NIGHT, EARL.