Married... with Children — S05E16 — All Night Security Dude

00:01:15 Do you, Peggy Wanker, take this man to be your lawful wedded husband?

00:01:56 Well, today they played Van Halen's "Jump."

00:02:33 But now onto the sadder side of the news.

00:03:13 ...is no longer. The Bundys of Bel-Air are no more.

00:03:57 Well, they're not exactly matching.

00:04:36 ...I'd say I made a penny or two.

00:05:08 I could do better than that. As a wise man once said:

00:05:46 You hear my words. I will not let my family starve.

00:06:47 ...Al Bundy, security dude.

00:07:36 We go. You pay.

00:08:12 I won that baby.

00:08:45 No. Because he wore one with a chain around his neck.

00:09:14 ...when all of a sudden, on the one-yard line...

00:09:55 My knee was not down!

00:10:34 You know, like, Pops, the janitor?

00:13:38 What can I do when I'm branded and I know I'm a man?

00:14:21 ...alone, or the trophy dies.

00:15:13 You.

00:16:01 -Was not! Not. -Was too! Too.

00:16:33 I was supposed to play college ball, but it never happened. You know why?

00:17:10 And I haven't eaten in 19 years.

00:17:53 But get a gander at my best socks.

00:18:57 Three.

00:22:01 Oh, yes.