Married... with Children — S05E02 — Al... with Kelly

00:01:20 So are you really sick?

00:01:59 ...could accidentally wrap itself in bacon and fall in a microwave oven.

00:02:41 The Red Fudge of Courage.

00:03:26 It's at the supermarket.

00:04:17 Now, Kelly, we're gonna be spending a whole week together.

00:05:13 Well, the day you were born, I carried you from the hospital.

00:05:57 I remember because I accidentally left you on the top of the car.

00:06:43 Sure you can, son. Now, run along and do your chores.

00:07:42 Sorry, Peg, but I'm gonna have to leave you there...

00:09:07 Daddy?

00:10:08 You know, you'd think that women with big, fat feet...

00:10:44 Oh, and another reason is we don't have any bread.

00:11:44 -Some for me? -Oh, no, it's all gone, Daddy.

00:12:43 Well, at least we know your fever shot right past your IQ.

00:13:29 See me, touch me, feel me Marry me, kill me

00:14:19 But I was starving.

00:15:20 Here's my paycheck.

00:16:12 I want you to tell me a bedtime story.

00:17:09 Darkness fell on Shoetown.

00:17:53 ...laid down...

00:18:45 Well, obviously I'm having a hell of a dream.

00:19:51 Here comes Daddy.

00:21:22 And if there's anything that you want, you just ask.

00:22:24 Help me!