Man of the Year

00:00:40 (overlapping voices)

00:04:42 Endless recounts...

00:08:55 I'm here to talk tonight about political commercials.

00:13:04 Let's move on. Alison, Jenny, your thoughts.

00:17:54 You wanna get married? I need a wife before the debate.

00:22:33 Meanwhile, at the southern borders of our country, four million illegal aliens

00:26:31 It's a distraction! They point over here, they point over there - they want you not to know.

00:31:13 Then I... I have an idea: don't vote for the congressmen or senators.

00:36:23 Thought I'd spend the evening with someone who gets on my nerves.

00:41:13 more than from newspapers and actual news programs.

00:46:47 I believe democracy is a collision of ideas. I'm not of the school that if you're not for us you're against us.

00:51:56 - between you, me and the world media. - (laughter)

00:56:50 So, what do you do when you're not pretending to be an FBI agent?

01:01:25 It's a Tom Dobbs. Is that the Tom Dobbs, President-Elect Dobbs?

01:06:12 - Are you all right? - No!

01:10:26 Shouldn't you be giving that up?

01:15:41 Don't believe her so quickly, Tom.

01:20:39 Lots of people have psychological problems, mental problems, health problems of one kind or another.

01:26:02 I'm not even President of the United States yet, and I'm involved in a scandal with a woman.

01:30:12 - Listen, Eleanor, I'm with the President. - What?

01:35:24 I think it has to do with the fact that I figured everything out.

01:41:08 Do a couple of those Eleanor Green jokes and we get this stuff way, way behind you, all right?

01:45:35 Bottom line is it was a computer error. Not fraud, but a faulty program.

01:50:16 They should be changed frequently and for the same reason. Keep that in mind when you vote. Good night.