Mallrats

00:00:38 [ Man ] One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his ass.

00:05:09 now he doesn't even have a female contestant for his show.

00:08:40 - [ Banging ] - Hey!

00:11:57 - If all she did was dump you, you got off light. - I can't believe this shit.

00:15:51 We'll be blame-free and Brandi won't be able to do the show.

00:19:29 Do you think her fallopian tubes could handle his sperm?

00:23:57 Wow, look who it is.

00:27:24 - Brodie, get the hell off. - Come on!

00:32:02 - How long's this been going on? - Since I mustered the good sense to send you packing.

00:35:43 - Why the hell are you glowing? - I'm not glowing.

00:39:07 How much longer we gonna be in this chick store? I'm startin' to get a mean hard-on.

00:42:27 Barely breathing. Was Rene involved in this?

00:45:45 Scrub all you like, it'll stick around for two days.

00:49:24 That's good. Good, good.

00:53:22 You're giving up? You? You used to be a stand-up guy. What happened to that guy?

00:56:43 But my shallow friend isn't exactly interested in his future, so cut the theatrics.

01:00:05 - Where're you going? - Shopping.

01:03:19 I had blown it. I had, uh... missed my window.

01:06:51 You're never gonna believe who I just met.

01:11:01 Okay. Suitor number two.

01:14:32 - Hopefully not Rush Limbaugh. - I'm not like Rush Limbaugh.

01:18:15 Suitor-ette, suitor number one has done nothing but pine over you all day...

01:23:26 - Really? - Yeah.

01:27:38 # I'm your child Make me blush #