Louis C.K. at the Dolby

00:00:00 -Hey, what about these germaphobes?

00:01:59 Boom. Spare toupee. Bang.

00:04:49 I'll sell you my house for 10 cents.

00:07:16 Even the earliest civilizations in Mesopotamia...

00:09:51 Moral confidence.

00:12:30 And you got to make a choice.

00:14:48 I mean, the last day was particularly difficult, but...

00:17:22 They want you to come in, and they tell you.

00:20:00 "Are you fucking kidding me right now?"

00:22:32 And Peter, calling to remembrance,

00:25:10 Every nice, quiet place, there's a fucking Jesus.

00:28:03 'Cause they tell you you're going to hell.

00:30:33 I'm kidding. There's no God.

00:33:55 'cause you love your dog.

00:36:33 certain statements that if you're gonna say them,

00:39:13 You know, do it, but don't be like, "Whoo-hoo-hoo!"

00:41:58 You should do a lot of time.

00:44:54 You can live too long.

00:47:20 And so I thought, I'm like, "I'm gonna make my own.

00:49:45 and there's a video that encourages you.

00:52:13 Maybe he's going to suck another guy's cock.

00:54:35 I've been chasing the dragon on this fart porn for months.

00:56:29 that believe the man should be much older.

00:58:42 Thank you. Good night.