Lee Mack: Going Out Live

00:00:03 This programme contains strong language

00:03:38 A lot of comedians will talk about their sex lives.

00:06:30 I'll fill you in. You haven't missed much.

00:09:06 "You know the government have raised duty on alcopops by 12.5%?"

00:11:40 Cos if a woman says 39, they mean mid-40s.

00:13:58 But it's mainly the French rule. Why we're listening to the French, I'll never know.

00:17:01 "He'll be gone when I look back."

00:19:40 People give a biscuit to the dog, they get bitten.

00:22:15 This bloke said, "Do you park it in the street?"

00:24:28 And I knew straightaway this bloke was trying to sell me something with his opening line

00:27:08 He went, "They don't have Nectar points in Ireland."

00:29:34 I like The Edge, or as he's known in France, L'Edge.

00:31:50 You know what they say - once you've had black, you never go back.

00:34:28 The little terminology.

00:38:48 This could be your moment. What was your first pet?

00:45:41 I'd been saying it for ages, I finally did something about it.

00:47:52 You and your mates could have different emotions

00:50:03 (AUDIENCE) Aw-w!

00:52:17 What's your name, madam?

00:55:16 It doesn't matter what room she goes in, she's fucking ginger.

01:00:33 "No licence, no job, no holidays, no home, no car, no running

01:03:31 # "Don't bring my fucking mum into fucking this!" #

01:07:49 "Fucking Lee Mack kkkk.

20:00:00 the clock but it's my final offer."