Kathleen Madigan: Hunting Bigfoot

00:00:22 Wow. Hello, hello, hello, everybody.

00:03:35 Like these contacts will rot my eyes,

00:06:53 is that I've been washing my hands wrong for 56 years.

00:10:04 What's going on up here in the past?

00:13:18 and they're the boss and they have money and power.

00:16:40 That's fantastic.

00:20:02 I want a soft-shelled chalupa, no idea."

00:23:23 But I had a Millennial hit me up on Instagram

00:26:37 "Hi, everybody, it's me, Nancy Pelosi.

00:30:11 and there was another gang somewhere in Delaware

00:33:57 They go, "Did you ever watch one somewhere?"

00:37:15 and they're gonna read everything and then they're gonna tell your parents

00:41:08 I don't love calling there 'cause he has his hearing aids.

00:44:23 I don't have that kind of time.

00:47:41 And then when the driver pulls up, he goes, "Are you a wizard?"

00:50:36 And I'm not even scared of your guns.

00:53:49 And there's still two of you. Well done.

00:56:44 And she goes, "You may."

00:59:46 I do find... some of my friends know a lot about wine,

01:02:53 but since we keep talking about it on the way over here,

01:05:52 And they seem so extraordinarily normal.

01:08:38 I don't even know why you're still here. Like, get going."

01:11:33 And at some point, he noticed I had drifted out.

01:14:23 Bye up there.