Jimmy Carr: Laughing and Joking

00:00:20 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

00:03:38 I’m a dreamer, what can I tell you?

00:06:58 Go on, where were you when you saw the apparition?

00:10:21 ...one of those.

00:13:50 Since October? My God, it's new and fresh.

00:17:01 (LAUGHTER)

00:20:28 “I didn't press the red button. It's gone all fucking interactive.”

00:25:29 Although she's also known as Gigantosnatch.

00:29:12 So the Queen, as we all know, has only got one bit of shtick

00:32:50 You went for a piss in the police station car park?

00:36:58 It got me chatting to people about what is the worst gift you've ever got?

00:40:56 - MAN: I don't have him any more. - You don't have him any more?

00:45:15 - MAN: Sex. - Sex.

00:49:22 Because of the reincarnation.

00:53:34 I went to a fairly posh, single-sex school

00:57:52 “Also, I’m going to fuck you. We're not doing sudoku.

01:01:51 I don't know whether it was the physical act or the emotion of it

01:05:57 My question is, if you walked in on people doing that, what would your response be?

01:10:11 Any other weirdness?

01:14:32 (MEN SHOUT)

01:19:28 So they printed out this leaflet and, cos they raised more money than they needed

01:23:26 (LAUGHS)

01:27:29 there are universities that used to be polytechnics that then became universities

05:00:05 in most relationships.