Jimmy Carr: In Concert

00:00:03 I genuineIy can't get over how nervous I am.

00:05:16 When I was a kid, I was scared of the dentist.

00:10:03 ''You've done what, Dad?''

00:14:53 I don't know what conversation that prompted there.

00:19:48 Cheetahs are actuaIIy endangered, so that's quite insensitive, sir.

00:24:42 and you're being positive about it, don't at any stage, even if you're joking

00:29:57 (AII) Yes.

00:35:04 I had an argument with a friend of mine I've known for 15 years

00:39:58 - (Man) He shagged Ioads of women. - He shagged Ioads of women?

00:45:05 Your mum!

00:50:15 They now make a doubIe-decker pizza. How did that happen?

00:55:40 and they say, ''She's onIy going out with you cos you're famous.''

01:00:59 I did have a threesome once, this was about eight, nine years ago.

01:06:27 No, I didn't see anything.

01:11:57 (Jimmy Iaughs)

01:17:22 Women usuaIIy take care of contraception in a reIationship

01:22:41 ? Here comes the train, into the tunneI ?

01:28:29 I'm seIf-confident about my abiIity to use...words.

01:33:25 (Man) Do you share the EngIish perspective that we sponge off you?

01:38:40 Yeah, a racist in Brixton. Good Iuck getting home, mate.

01:43:49 I'm 35, mate. Yeah.

01:49:14 Hmm, I Iove the boots!

01:53:52 It doesn't matter if it's a negative connotation.

01:59:10 Toot and Carmen.