Jimmy Carr: Comedian

00:00:15 (Cheering and appIause)

00:05:11 that means he doesn't want a baby.

00:10:39 I am very thorough.

00:16:13 ''I'm getting nothing here, Jeremy.''

00:21:08 There's no way we'd have picked it up in 60 years.

00:26:43 Are you sextupIets or something?

00:31:46 Cos we aII heard.

00:37:01 I want her to either get, ''If you can read this, you're fucking me.''

00:42:21 ''Who couId have been so kind?''

00:47:29 Why did you Ieave your previous job? Tricky - you can't just put embezzIing.

00:52:50 They fucking hate that.

00:58:07 ''WeII, I've paid now.''

01:02:48 It wouId be a terribIe miscarriage of justice if you had dark bIack hair.

01:07:50 Stop touching kids.

01:13:00 - At Ieast twice. - At Ieast twice?

01:17:34 I think peopIe making drink-driving ads

01:22:56 She said, (Strong AustraIian accent) ''Have you sIimed yet?''

01:28:39 ''I'm not wearing any panties.''

01:33:54 - Can't your mum do it? - She's out.

01:39:04 Which means we're having sex.

01:43:10 HeIIo, I'm the bIack bIoke from the HaIifax ads

01:47:43 I don't understand it. Not a singIe person's repIied.

01:52:00 What's going on here, then?

165:00:00 to the age of 18 in the UK.