Jerry Seinfeld: I'm Telling You for the Last Time

00:00:27 I guess I knew this day would come.

00:02:59 Well, that's not a bit. I'm just saying'.

00:06:54 for some reason you don't get scared, no matter how fast the guy goes.

00:09:50 What is it they think we would do with a faucet?

00:13:11 "You're dead, you're dead, I'm gone."

00:16:14 "Well, I'm old and I'm coming back."

00:19:02 "Mamma, clean up", "Let me stay up."

00:22:01 "I'm supposed to be done by now."

00:24:40 They've done it. We now have seedless watermelon.

00:27:03 "Get back over here..."

00:29:55 "That's it for today."

00:32:17 you're actually looking at the other people.

00:34:55 "We're going to perform a cue-ball-ectomy on you, mister Johnson."

00:37:54 I betcha women would like to know what men really think...

00:40:21 We explored the Earth looking for women.

00:43:29 They're hanging in there with the chop sticks, aren't they?

00:46:04 Everyone wants to hear the story.

00:48:54 you wouldn't really hear them screaming...

00:51:45 There are many things we can point to as proof that the human being is not smart.

00:53:58 He says: "there's nothing we can do."

00:56:26 so you put a sweater over the TV.

00:58:50 I mean, he's on him, he's hitting him with this thing.

01:01:35 And they look up at you...

01:04:13 But I have fully adjusted to the road.