It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia — S01E02 — Charlie Wants an Abortion

00:00:02 NO, DUDE.

00:00:55 HEY, CHARLIE. ♪ ARE YOU THE MAD MUNCHKIN ♪

00:02:19 WELL, DUDE, YOU GOTTA MEET THE KID. I MEAN, YOU GOTTA FIND OUT FOR SURE.

00:03:19 UH, MAC, WHAT'S GOD'S STANCE ON BLOOD TESTS?

00:04:13 YEAH. SORRY I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF TIME. I GOTTA GET TO WORK.

00:05:01 HAVE FUN, BOYS.

00:05:47 DO YOU? NO, I DON'T.

00:06:37 HE'S BITING MY HAND! HE'S BITING MY HAND! COME ON.

00:07:32 YEAH, REAL EXCITED ABOUT THE RALLY. WE'RE GONNA KICK ASS THIS TIME.

00:08:32 I'LL SHOW YOU WHO'S THE BOSS OF WHO. LET'S GO TO THE MALL!

00:09:29 COOL. STEWIE.

00:10:11 - IS THAT CUTE LITTLE GIRL YOUR... - I'M HER BIG SISTER.

00:11:00 MAYBE WE'LL SEE YOU THERE. MAYBE. OR YOU KNOW WHAT?

00:11:56 WHAT'S THIS? THAT'S THE LIST OF DOCTORS I'M GONNA KILL.

00:13:09 THAT'S PRETTY THIN. THAT MIGHT BE TOO THIN. HEY-OH!

00:13:58 SERIOUSLY? YEAH. YOU GOTTA COME WITH ME TO ONE OF THESE RALLIES.

00:14:57 IF YOU'RE GOOD TODAY, I'M GONNA BUY YOU...

00:15:57 I LOVE THE SMELL OF PROTEST IN THE MORNING. WHAT?

00:16:59 THAT SUCKS FOR ME.

00:17:56 HEY, THERE'S A GUY ON THE FENCE.

00:18:55 WHAT? IT'S A REAL MIRACLE.

00:19:42 NO! WAIT... WAIT... WAIT A SECOND! WAIT! OH.

00:20:38 YOU HAVE AN UGLY FACE, OKAY? YOU TRY AND PUSH PEOPLE'S BUTTONS ALL THE TIME!

00:21:39 WHY?